Too much thinkin

 I hope this happy lasts until Saturday when I babysit!

I'm sure I think a lot every day, but today I really focused on two things.  Empty promises and mid life crisis.  The promises pertain to H.  It's funny how someone who talks a lot, never attempts to stay in contact.  Empty promises abound, and I'm done reaching out.  Last week he ticked me off a bit trying to tell me what Missy told him and how it would apply in my situation.  Turns out it doesn't and he then accused me of not taking criticism well.  Whatever!  I'm tired of reaching out to someone who doesn't do the same for me.  I'm clearly not that important in his life, or it's normal in his life to not talk to a close friend for 8 days.

I'm 100% positive I'm having a mid life crisis.  If one more person tells me I'm too young to be having one I'm going to punch them in the fucking mouth.  A- you don't know how long I'll live.  I'm guessing 70 might be my max.  I've punished my body quite a bit.  B- you aren't in my head, you don't know what I'm thinking.  C- it does not help when you tell me that 40 will be worse.  Gee thanks for the ray of poop colored sunshine! 

I don't know why my impending 35th birthday has me so worked up.  I haven't been where I thought I would be for a long time, but I think 35 is the age when I though this would all change.  I really fear where I am and what it's taking to get me where I want to be.  I'm making changes for the good, but it seems to be taking quite a while.  Today an opportunity to work closer to home came up and I didn't just delete the email.  My boss is looking into details and who I need to speak with.  I think I've hit my max at extensive traveling.  I'd much rather stay in the 6 state zone in which I'm currently based.  It may not work out but at least my boss and her boss know I'm serious.  I need a change and I'm going to start taking all the opportunities that are presented to me.