No words, just words and a headache

Good, Great, GRAND!

This has made me laugh all day!

Making faces per Mommy's request!

She's up to something, I'm guessing Peek-A-Boo!

• Worked sucked again today.  I'm so over it.  I have a boss who's easily hyped up, as well as 2 co-workers who are.  Until some decisions are made about us having to report to offices or not, I think everyone is going to continue in bat-shit crazy mode.  Yay me :(
• I say this here as it's a safe place, but my in-office counterparts are dumber than rocks.  They make their job so much harder than it really is.
• I have a great dad.  We may not see eye to eye a lot, and we still fight over stupid things, but he's great when I need him.  Tonight he took out the "desk" that was installed by it's previous owner. I never figured out it's functionality.   Per my dad there was a good two inches of dust/dirt and golf tees under the plywood.  He was even nice enough to scoop it out and vacuum!  It's still super gross on the inside, but he offered me the use of his heated shed to work on getting it cleaned up so I'm not skeeved out when I have to work my first assignment.
• Mom and I had a good shopping trip tonight.  BooBoo made out like a bandit.  I kinda did too.  I got some new PJ bottoms and sweatpants.  All this working at home allows me the need for some more casual wear.  I also purchased 2 cute sweatshirts.  They fit, but losing 10 more lbs and they'll be really comfy.  I hope they don't shrink, cause that'll make it 20lbs before comfy.  WAH!
• I've decided to do an experiment that I think I can already predict the outcome of.  I did my first month of WW with no exercise, now I'm going to the next one with.  Nothing strenuous, just some Walk Away the Pounds by Leslie Sansone.  I've got to get moving and hopefully by month 3 it'll be nice enough to walk outside.  I'm guessing I'll lose twice as much weight as well.  It's what worked 8 yrs ago and is bound to work again this time.
• I need to review my resolutions.  It's a month in and I think I'm starting to slip on a couple.  Reminders never hurt anyone!

What you allow is what will continue!

When he decides to be an actor, I will not be surprised!

She's 2, I'll allow socks with sandals.

• Today started off really rough.  Computer problems galore and dealing with someone who didn't see the problem was hair pullingly frustrating.
• You know your day is bad when talking on the phone with the work husband he used my own phrase and called me stabby.
• BooBoo and Sissy stopped by after work and that helped.  She makes the best faces!  She has this little surprise face that will melt you.  Adorbs!
• Facetime with the twins also helped.  The best part is Danyal always asking where I am.  Rarely do I get to say my house, but that was an acceptable answer today.  His next question was when I could come visit.  Guess I need to set up some time with the BFF to come play.
• Clint's performance review is done.  Now we wait and see if his boss likes it.  I hope he does, or at least accepts some of it.  That man is one tough cookie!
• I made a new hotdish tonight and it turned out fantastic
• 1lb ground chicken
• 1 container sliced mushrooms (chopped)
• black beans
• 2c co-jack cheese
• 1 can cream of something soup
• 1/2c milk (I use almond milk)
• 1 can rotel
• 1 small can green chiles
• 1 envelope taco seasoning
• 4 oz noodles (cooked)
• sautee mushrooms, remove from pan.  Add chicken to said pan.  Cook it, add the black beans, and the mushrooms.  Add taco seasoning and 1/2 c water.  Simmer it down.  Mix the soup and milk together, then add all the rest and put in a casserole pan.  I put half the cheese in the mix and the other half on top.  Bake at 350 until it bubbles, mine took about 25 min.  6 huge servings at 10 pts ea.  Winning!!!!
• Now it's Mindy time.

Obsessions

Proper head protection needed when driving indoors.

Bullet points

• It sounds terrible but I cannot wait for storms to start.  I'm so over working mail queues.
• My nail polish addiction is severe!  I wanted to go to Ulta yesterday because a bunch went on sale.  This afternoon, 80% cleared out.  I did get a gel polish for over half off, yay me.
• I didn't make marshmallows this weekend, it was too humid.  I'm hoping later this week.  Tonight and tomorrow more snow is expected which means non-marshmallow friendly weather.
• Dallas is back!  I had no clue until yesterday.  I loved the original and the new one maybe a little more.  John Ross really gets my blood pumping.  His evil black heart matches mine oh so well.  And he's hot, oh so friggin hot!!!
• I finished my performance review today.  Now to get it ok'd by both sets of mgmt!  I have Clint's 75% done, and he actually did most of it.  It would be done, but he decided to go out and spend his tax return.  I texted him over 2 hours ago needing to talk to him about it and JUST got a text back.  I'm pretty sure he's been out drinking with his buddies so it's probably for the best to wait until tomorrow.
• I was horrible about eating today and now I have a killer case of heartburn from some parmesan potato green bean thingy I made.  It's actually healthy, but that cheese sauce stuff is killin me.  I hope the taco bake I make tomorrow agrees with me a bit better.
• Now it's back to Dallas!

Snowed In

I took this out my kitchen window about 1pm today

It snowed and snowed today.  Actually it's still snowing and based on the accumulation on my grill I'd guess we have 4 inches so far, with 1-2 more expected overnight.  YUCK!  This is better than the bitter cold we've been entrenched in so I'll take it.  I'm hoping roads are cleared out tomorrow as I have a huge shopping list I'd like to tackle before the next round tomorrow night.

Today's snow day allowed me another day of doing whatever I wanted in my house!  I cleaned, finished some laundry, played lots of Words with Friends, gave myself a mani-pedi, made Ina Garten's mac and cheese (24pts please and thank you) and watched all kinds of random TV; including the oft mocked Pro-Bowl).  It's been just a great day all to me.  Even better, I haven't talked to one single person, texting my sister, mom and BFF doesn't count.  Oh and I've channeled my inner grunge fashion and am wearing sweats, a v-neck t-shirt and a flannel.  Ahhh grunge, how I miss you!

I should probably make myself a little snack and start getting ready for bed.  Every week I want to get on a better schedule and start work earlier, it never happens and I just continue to slack off.  I know I'm not alone, Ande rarely logs on before 9:30 so I've got that as a guideline :)  Maybe I'll just keep pinning and worry about work tomorrow.  Shame I can't claim I'm snowed in!

The start of a real weekend

OCD much?

You can count all 6 hairs in her bow.  But the comb is tasty!

New Decor over my bed, the 3 things I value most in life

Today begins the first weekend I have to myself.  A full real weekend all to me!  I cannot remember the last time this happened.  On the old job we never had Saturdays off, only Sundays.  Today was like being in a dream.  I did all my normal Sunday stuff but still have tomorrow to do whatever I like; what a novel idea.  I think I'm going to test out a new recipe and get my first batch of marshmallows made.  I spent today running errands, tidying up my office, sorting out my safe and the valuables inside, and making some new "brownies."  I'm watching Princess Bride for the 2nd time this weekend as well.  I cannot get enough of it, hands down one of my most favorite movies.

In celebration of losing 4lbs this week I decided to make myself some treats.  The brownies are a twist on a pumpkin muffin I love.  I used: 1 devil food cake mix, 1 can of pure pumpkin and 1/2 c mini chocolate chips.  Baked at 350 for 18 min.  They are 6 pts a piece and pretty darn tasty.  I think tomorrow I might get some cool whip and make a little sundae out of the whole thing.  Delish!

Auntie is the best Babysitter

Self Portrait

Don't steal my yogurt drops!

I had the best 3 hours watching BooBoo.  She's just so much fun.  She's become really expressive with no words.  She makes her little hands into pinchers and wants everything.  If something is out of her reach she points and kinda uh-uh-uh's at it.  She loves loves loves her soft new blankie and pillow.  If she comes anywhere near either of them she immediately lays her head down and rubs her face on them.  Her giggle melts away any problem you could ever have.  And her top teeth look so big, it's like a lil buck tooth redneck smile, but in such a good way!  I love being home to watch her grow up.  I can tell this year will be even better than last year.

Workin it Wednesday

Because no pants are the best

Hugs are the best!

Being happy is all a state of mind and today I struggled to find that state.  I was still pretty pissed about last night's events.  It just adds to my whole list of what I want out life and I'm doing my best to avoid that topic for a couple more weeks.  Finances are really a big part of it and once I can get order in one part of my life, I am able to cause chaos and the find new order in another part.  Right now it all feels kinda chaotic and my way to cope is simply shutting down.  I have some very lengthy plans of being a hermit and making home made marshmallows this weekend.  Fun huh!

Today I had lunch with my old boss and discussed my performance review.  Some days I really wonder why I left the old job and then 1 comment and I remember why.  I miss her horribly, but I know being home and trying a new adventure is best.  

I was talking to the BFF on my way home and made a detour to see her and the babies.  They definitely cheered me up, hugs and no pants are 2 of the best cures for anything.  I love seeing all the changes they've made since the last visit.  Sara has no more stranger danger and ran full force to give me a hug today!  She's never done that and I'm not sure who was happier, her, me or her mommy.  Big steps today.  It's also hard to not to laugh when they go into timeout.  Not that they weren't naughty, but the logic and their inability to sit with their hands in their laps kills me.  Oh the terrible twos, good thing it's only 1 year.

Overwhelming

Tonight I had dinner with a good friend and it was simply too much for me to take.  At the end I finally had to tell her I felt like I was being attacked and couldn't take in any more.  I actually cried the whole 30 min home because I just can't digest it all and feel so small right now.

Apparently in my 6 weeks on the new job I'm already passing up opportunities and need to be more proactive about networking.  Yeah, I barely know my team, think I'll wait another month or 2 before I start in on upper mgmt.  I should also be studying all the time for continuing ed, and have a new mentor, and come to the office when I've got the time and just network some more.   Shame I told my boss I'm taking a year off of all that just to learn my job and re-acclimate to being at home and having a somewhat "normal" life.  It's great she's finally getting the recognition she wants, but I've been there, done that, got rejected.  Think I'm gonna sit out for a round or two.

We talked about the whole Clint situation and I found that upsetting too.  I know what we have is broken and not worth fixing, but it's hard to hear the truths you already know.  Everyone wants to see me happy, yet it seems perfectly OK to tell me how horrible I am at making choices.  If I'm so awful at it, where's your perfect guy for me.  If I'm so lovable and worthy of a good guy, where are they?  I'm tired of everyone's suggestions of how I should run my life.

Mortifying Monday

Maybe we like the new blankies and pillow?

(she was snoring)

So much random today!

• At the ob/gyn today, had a true moment of panic when it came time for my breast exam.  I feared that I still had teeth marks.  Thankfully none, the human body heals quickly
• It's freezing out today, and I just hate it!  By freezing I mean -12 temp, feels like -35
• Polishing my nails is so cathartic.  Silver hologram with lots of glitter this time
• I'm still insomnia free!
• Unfortunately I can feel the depression lapping at my feet.  I'm trying to make lots of plans to stay busy, but it doesn't always work.  Today loneliness really slapped me in the face.
• I'm pretty sure I'm getting sex from Clint so I'll keep writing his performance reviews.  Shame I write him kick ass reviews and the sex is just eh.  If I wasn't resolving to not touch his penis anymore I'd work on that.
• Work was just bleh today.  Although there was a very funny mistake of my co-worker putting a case of beer in the wrong truck.  Our boss is mad, but his boss, very very happy.  It would seem all upper management in Lincoln drives a Toyota Tundra.
• The UPS man delivered me a neighbor's package last week while I was gone.  It's too bad I find them colossal douchebags and have yet to put the package on their step.  It appears to be a textbook, I should give it to them.  They clearly need the education.  I've seen the husband pee on more things than a neighbor really should.  (The correct amount is none, he should be peeing on nothing I can see)
• In a moment of cleaning/feng shui I burnt up my paper shredder.  Poor thing made the saddest noise.  I can add it to my list of things to get at Office Max, should I ever decide to actually stop there.
• I really hate how hearing one song can stop you in your tracks.  Today it was Luke Bryan, and combined with the lonely just a bit of a downward spiral for a couple hours.  Good thing 2 Broke Girls can always make me laugh.
• I bought the worlds smallest clementines.  They are barely worth the effort of peeling for how little fruit is inside.  I ate 3 to equate to the size of one large.  Ridiculous.
• I think it's time to read some nail polish blogs.  I need a little more happy tonight.

Sunday Sick-day

Stopped unwrapping to lay down on her new pillow and blankie

Driving is serious business

Today the immediate family celebrated BooBoo's birthday.  She slept through most of it and didn't have any interest in smashing her cake.  She's still not 100% herself but it was still a fun party.  It seems everyone in the family is suffering from something.  So far Dad and I are the only ones left standing and somehow I feel like it could be coming to an end.  Time to up my vitamins and anti-oxidants.

Last night I had one of the craziest dreams.  I dreamt I started talking to my ex again and we plotted to kill Clint!  Sooo messed up, I have no desire to do either of those things, but it was a very realistic dream.  I blame eating sugar too close to bedtime and watching the season 4 finale of True Blood.  It's one of those deep seeded secrets coming to fruition I think.  No revenge like that of a woman scorned.

I had a nice talk with my sister today after the party.  We took a quick trip to Target and I told her all about last weekend's shenanigans.  I also talked to my good friend JJ last night.  They both agree I needed the sequence of events from last weekend to happen so I can see what I don't want.  The entire time I've been involved with Clint I knew I shouldn't have been.  I knew it, yet I couldn't stop myself.  I'm seriously hoping by being removed from the unhealthy environment of my old job I can start meeting guys worthy of my time.  I know one thing, I need to stop picking guys who drink, and by that I mean nightly and more than one drink every night.

I'm remaining hopeful that if I put it out to the universe, the universe will bring it back to me.

Slowing down Saturday

There's for sure a family resemblance!

Today was supposed to be BooBoo's party, but she's sick with a pretty high fever.  She's overall miserable and I feel so bad for her.  My mom is still sick as well, so it's best we all just stay in our own houses.  The wind and cold have set in as well and my furnace is running constantly!  Damn you arctic clipper and your dastardly winds.

I've been somewhat productive today.  Finished the laundry, swatched some new nail polishes, cleaned the spare closet out, sorted magazines, wrapped BooBoo's present and started in on the DVR. 

I read an interesting article in Marie Claire today about a curvaceous woman who found herself acting in the way society wanted her to, not the way she was comfortable.  This all came about after she lost some weight and changed her body shape.  She found she attracted the love and attention she wanted, not the lust and leering of before.  I found the whole concept fascinating and I act exactly the same way.  I'm large chested and a natural born red head.  I feed into peoples preconceived notions about how I should be, not how I really want to be.  I'm going to take this as motivation to keep losing weight and focus on being healthy in every aspect of my life.

Freaking the F*&K out Friday

Today was not a pleasant drive home.  I was supposed to get my period over a week ago and it's not normal for me to be late.  Not even by a day, and I have an app to track it, so I know these things.  I tried not to worry too much about it, but then I started to do the math and thought, DAMN I really could be pregnant.  I have an IUD so there's like a .002% chance it could happen, but that would totally be my luck.   So for the first time ever, and I mean EVER, I bought a pregnancy test.  Thank you sweet baby Jesus, Allah, Mohammad or whoever you worship that I am NOT pregnant.

As I was driving and trying to not obsess like an out of control crazy person I never once had a glimmer of happy about the whole situation.  It was all doom and gloom in my head.  My life would change 100% job, home, finance all of it different, none of it welcomed.  Then I thought of the impact on Clint, he's so young and has such a bright future.  I could not imagine what a hit his world would take.  Again bless the makers of birth control and that I live in a country where I can freely purchase it.

As I imagined all the "what if?" scenarios I just kept shaking my head.  I soooo don't want to tell my child that, yeah your dad and I just got drunk and had sex a couple times.  I thought about marriage, because I think that would have been one of the only options.  Clint and I have discussed it before, and agree kids are better with 2 parents, BUT that's only if it could work.  With he and I, I'm not so sure that could happen; maybe but it would be so tough.  So many sacrifices and tons of resentment towards each other, are not sound bricks to build a marriage out of.  He and I both come from homes where our parents have never had a picture perfect marriage and divorce has been on the table more than once.

Tonight I go to bed with a clear mind and no baby in my uterus!  I also know 100% that when I say I don't want children, I really, truly don't.  I have 2 nieces and a nephew to fill that void.  They will all be getting extra cuddles, hug, kisses and presents because Auntie isn't going to be a mommy!!

Trying not to die Thursday

Baby's 1st Sugar, and she shares!

 No Pants Thursday, finally something I can get behind

Today was just painful.  I've had a pain in my shoulder for almost two weeks and it started spazming again last night.  I'm living on Advil until I get home and sleep in my own comfy bed, complete with heated mattress pad and full sized pillows.

Last night was a blast with my co-workers but a bit too late.  As we were trying to get home we missed the 1st call from the cab company so 45 min delay there.  THEN the cab got pulled over for speeding.  Yep that's right, sitting in a taxi while waiting for a cop to stop chewing out the driver.  AWKWARD!

Yesterday officially starts my new debt free life!  I could not be more excited to have things paid off.  It's such a huge weight off my shoulders.  AND out of all of it I've learned to live within my means, have my saving account built back up and am looking forward to saving more for some remodeling and some trips this spring and fall.  Being responsible has never looked so good on me.

To head in the complete opposite direction I can talk about Clint.  Basically he keeps lying to me, and not committing.  Not too shocking for someone who's 28, but still disappointing because I so want him to not be that guy.  The real clincher is when we talked yesterday and I asked about he and I going out tonight and he wouldn't commit.  At 11am I texted and asked again, never got a response, yet he played our game of Words with Friends within 15 min of the text, so I know he saw it.  And just like with H I now phase him out, find a new focus and move on.

I've completed yet another cycle of unhealthy relationships.  Last night as my co-wokers and I were talking, I realized how weird they were behaving.  The weird was that they were all normal; loved their spouses, didn't think about cheating, and would never hook up with a co-worker.  How refreshing, yet I don't know how to react or behave with that.  I'm the odd one out!  This could be just the change i need.

Tonight it's one last group dinner our.  I'm looking forward to some pizza, laughs and early to bed.  Tomorrow will be long; working a half day then driving 7 hours home, plus dinner with Sue.  Saturday is BooBoo's party and I cannot wait to get home to her and the rest of the family.

Reality Check

So I'm starting to think that time stands still in Lincoln.  Good lord the days are long in office.  I don't really know how to do the job down here so I'm struggling through what seems like every single file.  I know basic concepts but some things are so specialized it drives me crazy.  I've really gone into cherry picking mode.

Monday night was a co-workers birthday so we headed out across the street to celebrate.  We had a horrible waitress who actually spilled beer on my 2 co-workers.  Clint came out too and jogged my memory on a couple more random things I did on Saturday night.  I know I was drunker than I thought.  I got to 2nd base with his friend Brittany, aka the other girl he's sleeping with but I'm the only one who knows that.  Yeah, such a proud moment.  He happily relived telling me all the details (consider his spank bank filled for the week).  I was terrified to ask him about anything else I may have said or done.  He said that was by far the craziest.  

The next story was even better.  His "ex" showed up at his house 9:30 am on Sunday looking for me.  Apparently she thought she'd bust into his house and find me in his bed.  Ahhh yeah, we aren't that stupid.  Plus we aren't a couple, why would either of us spend the night if we didn't have to.  He snores and I need space.  After she calmed down they finally "had the talk" and are officially over.  This makes me happy, but I know he'll find some new drama to get into.  He always does.  And until I find someone new to get into, I'll keep being a part of his.

And so completes the cycle of me trying to date.  Find the guy who's unavailable yet perfect for me, befriend him, suddenly he makes the move, start a stupid tangled web of lies, cheating and fun, realize this isn't healthy, become unable to separate myself, eventually get hurt and walk away having learned little and my heart blackened just a little bit more.  Vow to find someone better, someone healthy for me, likely to start the whole cycle again.

I've been thinking how he's not really worked too hard to entertain me while I'm here.  I know it's not 100% his job, but still, when someone comes to my town I have options for days.  So far he half ass planned Saturday night, totally flaked on Sunday (part due to the ex, part due to hangover), Monday I begged him to come out, and now nothing.  I realized that my team is going out tonight, tomorrow I need to pack and likely get some sleep and Friday I'm driving home.  His options were limited and now I feel wasted as well.  My expectations were high, and I should have never let that happen.  Never rely on someone else for your own happiness.

Happy Birthday BooBoo

Raise your hand if you are one today!

A very very happy birthday to my precious sweet BooBoo who is 1 today.  Everyone has survived baby's first year and sometimes it's was a miracle we all did.  I cannot even begin to imagine a life without this sweet little girl in it.  I love her so very much and promise to always be the best auntie I can!  Cannot wait to see her on Saturday to celebrate and watch her smash up some cake!

Weekend in Review

How to instruct your minion by BooBoo

1st Starbucks Hot Cocoa, she declared it YUMMY

Big kid beds have moved in

So a lot has happened in 48 hrs, just like I thought it would.  Bullet points are needed again

• Broncos and Packers lost, Clint officially thinks I'm the jinx and has banned me from watching playoffs in Nebraska.  OK DONE!
• Last night he and I tried to drink all the beer in Lincoln,  OMG so much drinking and this morning I paid for it.  I had a decent headache and stomach ache when I got up this afternoon.  Good thing Cheez-its, Advil and water can cure almost anything for me.
• Fun, last night was very fun.  Mainly because I got to mess with him sooo much.  It's always great when his "ex" was there and her BFF's and they kept calling him an asshole.  OH and she took a good 15 min to cry in the bar bathroom because I showed up and she's convinced he and I are involved.  Good instinct, but you two are actually broken up so it's a moot point. 
• Apparently she got a hold of the phone records and saw how frequently he calls me on the phone and flipped out because he never calls her.  Oh the drama of being young and insecure.  Although his plan of getting her to break up with him is progressing quite nicely.  I think my presence this week is really pushing her buttons.  
• For once in my life I was the strong one, I was going to let him go home with no hanky panky.  He was actually out the door when he leaned in for one more kiss.   It's a shame he's so weak, but it always works to my advantage.
• I met his BFF Nick, and that guy is funny.  We totally hit it off, and I hope I get to hang out with them both this week.  This week has so little to do with work.  It's basically the 8 hours a day I can't socialize and drink.  Booooooo!
• My whole drive down yesterday I kept thinking what a shame he isn't my one.  That he's too young and needs to so much more living.  When we were talking on the couch last night I kept thinking it again.  The scary thing is he actually brought it up.  We have such compatibility but the timing is so wrong.  Everything happens for a reason and right now I'm still trying to sort it all out.

Finally Friday

Today it's bullet points, because that's how my mind is working:

• I didn't really work today, because I just didn't want to
• I did do laundry, run the dishwasher, pack and clean the house
• I'm starting to really loathe packing, but at least I'll be cute next week
• BooBoo has a cold and she's adorable.  She pretends to blow her nose, but gets real mad when the tissue ends up in her mouth and she can't get it off her tongue
• I only lost 2lbs in my first week on WW.  I'm blaming PMS and the world's most jacked up metabolism.  Next week my excuse will be beer, work trips will do that to me every time.  BUT the positive thing is I'm eating better and trying to be more regular about it too
• Duck Dynasty makes me happy!
• I just bought indie nail polish called Go Pack Go!  It's green and gold glitter and I cannot wait to get it.  I hope they win this week so I can wear it next week
• I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, not the drive, but the fun tomorrow night.  I can hardly wait for the shenanigans to begin.  And I'm sure Clint and I will find some, it's something we are naturally good at.

Until Sunday I wish everyone a good weekend.  GO PACK GO!!!!

Thrilling Thursday

Today was just kind of funny.  I'm slowly trying to move up my wake time each morning.  I had really started slacking off and next week could be really tough if I don't ease into it.  Sooo up and working by 9am, and I worked pretty hard for a change.   I'm hoping tomorrow can be just as easy so I can cut out early and pack up and enjoy some down time.

About noon Clint started texting, which isn't that abnormal, until I got the text that said I miss you.  Yep that one threw me for a loop.  Normally I get that at about 10pm, turns out he was at the bar.  He and a buddy took a road trip, and while his friend worked, he drank.  It's a shame I can see right through his sentiments.  As the afternoon progressed it came out why he was buttering me up.  On Saturday he wants to take me to a birthday party for one of his friend's wives.  Great, I'm all for this, until he said his ex and the other girl he's been sleeping with will likely be there.  Ummmmm Houston we have a problem!  He's promised to keep me at a healthy level of intoxication all night long and to provide me with friends to distract me.  Lord knows I've got his secrets to spill, and he confessed I'm the only person who knows all of them.  Well isn't that special!

This evening I got another fun text, his drinking really entertains me, he's going to try and arrange some shooting for Sunday.  Most girls wouldn't find that thrilling, but me, heck yeah.  I love handguns and he was going to get one today or tomorrow and his dad has 2.  That's right, take me to meet your parents and let me shoot their guns!  It's a shame he's not my one, we really do get along.

Now it's time to go start tearing apart my room.  This time packing is a bit more intensive, I really need to impress.  Plus I like to dress like a grown up every now and then.  I'm very excited to bust out the big girl heels and my fancy new flats.

New Business cards

Terrific Tuesday

New Shoes, New Shoes, New Shoes!!!!

Her Graduation will be largely a compilation of these photos

(my sister and I are horrible horrible role models)

Today was crazy busy.  My co-worker drove up from Milwaukee last night and spent the night here.  This morning we had a meeting with the window guy and I've spent all day trying to work out a presentation of my notes and his powerpoint.  So far some progress has been made, but I need to figure out how to Snag-it on my work computer so I can add in some screen shots.  Exciting huh!

Today we had a conference call and finally confirmed I'll be in Lincoln next week.  I'm so glad this has been decided as I can keep all my appts.  I told Clint and, of course, I'll be going a day early so I can hang out with him.  Plans are to watch football as soon as I get in on Saturday, then Sunday watch more football and work on his performance review.  It's a give take relationship.  I give him my business writing skills, I get drunk and we have sex.  I'm going to try really really really hard to not give in this weekend.  I won't be staying at his house which will help immensely, on the other hand it'll be days before my period and that just won't help, AT ALL!

It's funny that we really haven't communicated recently, but the texts have increased this week and we talked on the phone for over an hour this afternoon.  I guess when we IM'd last week he was serious that his ex wasn't talking to him anymore.  I'm looking forward to seeing him this weekend, and getting him drunk so he spills all his secrets.  It's my super power with him.  I know a handful of secrets that he doesn't know he's told me.

Tomorrow marks my first week of WW and I have to say I have some really really really bad habits.  The last couple days I've not gotten close to eating all my points.  I don't feel starved or deprived, I just get busy and don't have time or take the time to make something or am away from home.  It's a wonder my body is still functioning with such a caloric imbalance.  It's been almost 3 days since I've eaten all my points, but my urge to binge out on calories is very strong.   It's what I've always done and my body is expecting me to do so.  21 days to make a habit, I can do this!!

1 Week in and it's a good reminder

Busy Work

New Recipe #1 Flatout Pizza

I'd never had a flatout bread but my sister swears by them.  I tried one out as a pizza and it was delish and low points.  I'll be adding this into my weekly rotation.  Simple and good!  Totally satisfied my pizza craving.  

My 2nd recipe was in the crockpot.  Hawaiian Chicken from the sixsisters.com blog.  It's pretty good but next time I'd change it up.

Hawaiian Chicken

4-6 chicken breasts (frozen or thawed)

1/2 soy sauce

1/2 teriyaki sauce

1 can pineapple chunks, use only half the juice

put in the crock pot and cook until it's done.  I used 3 lg frozen chicken breasts on high for 3 hours, shredded in my Kitchen Aid and ta-da great dinner! Mine yielded 4 portions 

Next time I'll use all the juice, half the soy sauce sauce and leave out the pineapple (they just tasted like soy sauce).  It got a bit salty even though I used low sodium sauces.  I ate mine with a side of risotto, but I think on top of brown rice and uncooked pineapple it would be excellent.  Definitely a keeper, thanks Pinterest for a great find.

Today was pretty low key.  I watched BooBoo for a couple hours, came home and cooked and did laundry.  Cleaned up the clutter and tried another Pinterest idea for cleaning cookie sheets.  You make a paste with baking soda and peroxide.  My pan was pretty gross so after the first round and some steel wool progress was visible.  I've got another coating on and am going to leave it overnight.  I'm hoping the rest will come off.  It's a great pan, but I'd let too many things burn and now when I use it everything gets that char on it.  Here's hoping for more progress.

I should really go fold the laundry, vacuum, dust and mop.  Gross, but if I'm having a guest it all needs to be done.  I also need to do my roots and clean the shower, but those are for tomorrow.  I've decided I'm only working queues for the morning, then off to cash my check and some other errands, then project time until Ande gets here.  I really hope our boss lets us know about going to Lincoln next week or not.  I've got some planning and appts to take care of and I'm tired of putting them off.

I really really really need to find some motivation.  Right now I want to read magazines and keep watching I Love You Man, for like the 20th time.  Oh dilemmas.

Super Charged Saturday

Tuckered out after a trip to Target

Today I finally got my first week of the diet change energy burst.  This is after I got almost 11 hrs of sleep and laid in bed to avoid binge eating this morning.  I haven't done much, but I feel like I could.  It's a refreshing change.  The one thing I find quite ironic is that until I'm used to counting my points I rely on all frozen meals and prepackaged foods.  I'm pretty sure the goal is to go away from that but instead I go towards it.  It's just easier and less temptation for me.  Maybe in a month or so I'll get back to cooking.  

I have 1 recipe down, avocado egg salad.  Tomorrow I'm trying out hawaiian chicken made in the crock pot and maybe a "pizza" made with a flat out bread.  I also want to perfect my smoothie recipe.  Last night mine was a disaster thanks to a finicky blender.  Today I bought almond milk, protein powder, flax seed and fresh spinach to try out.  I really like the tropical frozen fruit mix I bought so I think the additions will be barely noticed.  It's all about trial and error, and so far all my results have been drinkable.

Tonight it's been all about football, and with 2 min to go looks like next Saturday will be the same!  Oh I love the playoffs, but I get so nervous and really for nothing.  Guess it just shows my love and dedication to my team and the sport.  GO PACK GO!

Frustrating Friday

1st attempt at crocheting a heart.  The shape is there

What my life has become.  Measuring everything

So I had my first weigh in today, after 2 days, and I'm down 1lb.  That's pretty good considering I just started.  I have to admit that I'm pretty frustrated with all the points and counting.  I know I have to get back into it and start memorizing my favorites.  I'm hoping it becomes a habit quickly.  I've had a huge realization how much I was overeating.  What I thought were portion sizes are really 2-3.  No wonder I've stayed fat for so long.  The only thing I underestimated was lettuce.  Do you know how much 2 cups of lettuce is.  A lot, I mean a huge fucking amount of lettuce.  I thought bagged salad was 4 servings, nope it's 2.  Wake up call for me!!

Part of my success the last time was staying busy at night, so out came my crochet books.  I realized that I really need a coach/tutor/someone to show me how to do it correctly.  I read my crochet for dummies book, but it's not always the best help.  As soon as I finish I'm looking up the local yarn stores new winter schedule.  I've got some really lovely yarns that I'd like to use to make some little heart garlands.  Obviously my first attempt is much too large!  Onto more practice.

This weekend I don't have a lot planned.  I've got to clean pretty well.  My co-worker is coming up on Monday so we can work on a presentation.  We are meeting with another co-worker to pick his brain about windows.  Not glamorous, but in our line of work they are very very trying.  Other than cleaning and starting some ideas for the presentation I've got nothing.  Maybe Sunday a trip to Rochester to see if the Amish store still has a chair I'm lusting after, for the last 6 yrs.  Or maybe tomorrow so I can go to Hobby Lobby!  Oh decisions!

Weird yet great day

Loving her magnets she got for Christmas

BooBoo and I on Christmas Eve.  Crackers and a Camera, she doesn't need anything else

Today was a busy day that turned out pretty great.  I worked hard this morning and IM'd my coworker about how it only seemed we were the ones pulling any work.  Then I was off to downtown MPLS to get my settlement check!  I cannot express how excited I am to be able to cash that and put so much of my past to rest.  Debt free is soon to be my new name!  

After that I went over to the BFF's house and hung out with her and Sara Beara.  Danyal was taking a much needed nap and never quit crying after the BFF woke him up.  Next time I'm sure he'll be back to normal and all cuddles.  

THEN I went shopping.  I went to World Market and remembered just how awesome it is.  I signed up for coupons and am going to use that discount online.  They had a couple things online but not in the store.  

Finally I went to Target and bought $70 of frozen food.  Yep, that's how I diet, all pre-packaged and cooked for me.  No thinking and easy.  It helps me get back in the habit of portions and points counting.  My freezer is so full I can barely close it!!  Of course, the first thing I can't wait to make are some Bertolli ravioli with spinach parmesan cream sauce that I picked up.  Lunch tomorrow is already calling my name!

Happy New Year

I welcomed in 2013 with kind of a whimper.  My friend Colleen had me to her house and we were total couch potatoes.  She has her sister and nieces living with her and I forgot how much drama they bring! WOWSA I do NOT want to be 19 or 17 again.  Now I'm at home, just watched the Badgers lose the Rose Bowl AGAIN, and battling some stomach bug.  Everything is going through me in an hour.  So not fun!!  I might just go to bed early and hope a good nights sleep can cure it all.

Before that I'll share with you one of my biggest resolutions: weight loss.  Per the standard index I need to lose 110lbs to be at a healthy weight for my height.  That's a lot, but I eat a lot.  Sooo I rejoined Weight Watchers online.  I've done the meetings and never stayed, I'd just get the access online and go weigh in.  So why pay more when I can weigh in my own bathroom?  My sis and her hubs are on their 2nd day so I do have some help and motivation.

My first couple days will be refiguring out what I can eat and how much.  I've been horrible at knowing portion sizes my entire life.  My mom always went on the premise that if it was healthy we could eat as much as we wanted.  This is not true and still a large part of my problem.  I have to go through my fridge and freezer and figure out what I have, what's not expired, and what I will actually use.  Most of it's WW friendly as I've never given up a lot of the habits I learned 7 yrs ago.

My goal is to start with 1 month of just focus on food and then add exercise next month.  If I'm feeling good and not struggling I could add it earlier.  As I get older I'm very much in a baby steps mentality.  I like to master one task and then focus on another, rather than several all at once.  I'm hoping it will make all of these items more of a habit and permanent change, rather than a quick fix.