Role Playing

OMG NEW KEEEEEYYYYSS!!

It's my last sleep in Dallas and I could not be happier.  I am beyond ready to go home.  I've got the van 2/3 packed and my last bit of laundry is finishing right now.  I plan on folding, loading up the cart for tomorrow morning and hitting the sack.  I stayed out too late last night.

Last night was great fun; dinner at Babes then Cool River for drinks and some dancing.  It was a great last night with friends.  I really had fun until RHS (red headed slut) showed up.  I highly dislike this girl, and I don't hide it at all.  Thankfully she kept to one side of the group and me the other.

The entire time I was out I kept thinking about what role with these people play in my life.  Some I will certainly stay in touch with, but they are part of my section.  I have a higher chance of seeing them.  Others will be fun should we meet again.  Then there's H.  The BFF has been asking me for weeks what role do you want him to play in your life and I cannot answer it.  It changes all the time.  Last night did not help me make any decisions.

Clint gossiped his ear off during dinner so his attention was not on me.  I was ok with this, but a bit hurt.  At the bar it was a complete 180.  He wasn't leaving my side, and being quite affectionate.  I was not prepared for that.  I love love love when he's like he was last night.  It makes me want him in my life forever.  In my opinion he was at the best of the best of himself last night.  Today it all came crashing down and I'm back to wondering why I even bother.  He has dinner plans with other co-workers tonight and I knew that.  I don't mind actually, but when I suggested we hang out afterwards he went into full asshole mode.  Snarky comments were sent and my feelings were hurt.  His multiple personalities are back and I am not playing this game.

I'm trying to predict the future with how our next couple of weeks will go.  I leave tomorrow, he leaves Sunday.  A few messages will be sent over the next week.  Then on the 12th he's back in Dallas for surgery on the 13th.  He's staying a couple days, then back to LA for him.  After that his attention will start to wane and I'll be back to my light duty life.  I'll think of him less and less and he'll likely do the same with me.  I'm sure he'll be seeing Missy somewhere around 4th of July.  I'll be Up North with the family and not paying attention to my phone.  After that we'll both be back to work wherever that might take us.  By this point I imagine our only words, will be those played in Words with Friends.  Now he could shock me and really make an effort, but I know he has too much stress at home to dedicate significant time to both me and Missy.  I think I need to stop playing fortune teller and just let it happen.  Either way if he starts to rely on me just as a place to vent or harbor negative energy, I'm over it.  I don't need to keep that in my life.

I'm not going to dwell on it.  I have so many other great things to focus on.  First things first are trying to get cupcakes tomorrow in KCKS.  Then onto brunch with Sue-Bee on Sunday and dinner at my parents that night.  I put in my request for all my favorite summer foods and thankfully they all sound good to my mom and dad.  I don't think I'll ever get too old to be spoiled by my momma.