Wasted

I failed my exam tonight.  And now I feel like I'm in a tailspin.  I just wasted the last 48 hours studying when I could have been with friends and family.  Passing this exam means a lot to me for work, but the rest of my life suffers so much.  I've now invented over $1000 into it and for what.  Me to have a giant meltdown, that's what.

It's just a harsh realization that I work 6-8 months at 6 days a week 12 hrs a day away from home and that's still not enough.  I have to get a professional designation while I'm at and sacrifice a little more.  I honestly feel like a part of my soul died tonight when that screen said non-pass.  What more do I need to give up?  I'm almost 35, still single, childless, and loveless.  I have a great support system that I rarely see because I'm so exhausted all the time.  At what point am I willing to just give it all up?  I feel like it's going to take an act of a God that I don't believe in to get me on that plane tomorrow.  I'm struggling to find the worth in it all.  I now totally understand why two of my very good friends quit suddenly last year.  This job breaks you.  Right now I'm hanging on by a thread.