Haunted

Yesterday and even yet today I feel haunted by a guy I was sleeping with last summer.  He was on a conference call in the morning with me, I went to view a group I'm a member of and he's been added to that, then last evening when I was on Facebook he was suggested as a friend to me.  It's weird because I really haven't thought much about him lately. 

To give a back story, he was working in the same office as I was this past summer.  We went out with the group a handful of times, but I paid him no attention as he's married.  One night out he started hitting on me, we arrived back to the hotel separately but at the same time.  I invited him up for another beer, instead we had sex.  As luck would have it, it lasted about 2 weeks and he was sent to Omaha for work.

The super odd thing is that I had no emotional attachment to him at all.  It was just physical.  I've not talked to him since.  Yesterday I felt like he was everywhere I looked.  I don't have any desire to talk to him, but it made me wonder.  Not in a bad way nor in a good way, just wonder.  I'm sure when I see him again things might be a little awkward, but I'm an adult.  I can handle it.

The other anomaly about the situation was the fact that he's married.  I never once felt guilty about it.  I don't think he did either.  He has a bit of a past, 3 baby momma's, married twice.  I never asked a lot of details about the situation, other than I know he wants to stop traveling to be a better father to his 5 kids.

The whole affair made me realize that I've become way too relaxed in how I view love and relationships.  It made me stop and really think about what I was doing to myself.  I think I was trying to prove that I don't need love, when in reality it made me realize how much I want it.  Granted I came to this conclusion about 3 months later.  Sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake.  Either way the whole sordid situation made me a better person.