no helping

Today's activities have not made me feel any better.  I keep thinking that if I unclutter and clean out my house I will do the same with my life.  It's not working.  All I did was push all the contents of my garage into a corner hoping my dad keeps his promise to come take them.  I've been holding a fridge and shelves for 16 months under the premise he wants them for his shed.

My BFF tried to cheer me up but I'm just not to that point.  I don't want to wallow but it's all I feel I can do.

I've narrowed down my issues to the following:
finances -  my truck will be traded by this time next week, I am not happy about this.  My otherwise impending debt will be paid down in the next 2 years, it's just a matter of going back to work earning per diem and overtime.
my family - I've felt for a while like I'm not as important as my sister's new family unit.  I don't bring a son in law for my parents to fawn over so I'm often not invited.  Or when I am I'm a 5th wheel who has little to contribute.  Part of me realizing this depression was that I avoid going out with my family.
my lack of love life - I realized that I'm no one's first choice except for me.  I never thought I would still be single at this point and am at a loss.  Dating web sites have provided no luck, I've no desire to meet someone at a bar, work is not a good idea either.  The only guy I like is 1,000 miles away and I'm pretty sure is clueless that I like him
my weight - this is part of the love situation.  I need to stop being the fat girl, but cannot find that motivation.  I know what works for me but I don't want to.   For a type a, control freak, perfectionist being fat should not be my problem.  Except it is, big time.

I hope tomorrow is better.  I'm going to see the BFF and the twins.  Maybe my littlest boyfriend will tell me I'm pretty again.