Reality Check

So I'm starting to think that time stands still in Lincoln.  Good lord the days are long in office.  I don't really know how to do the job down here so I'm struggling through what seems like every single file.  I know basic concepts but some things are so specialized it drives me crazy.  I've really gone into cherry picking mode.

Monday night was a co-workers birthday so we headed out across the street to celebrate.  We had a horrible waitress who actually spilled beer on my 2 co-workers.  Clint came out too and jogged my memory on a couple more random things I did on Saturday night.  I know I was drunker than I thought.  I got to 2nd base with his friend Brittany, aka the other girl he's sleeping with but I'm the only one who knows that.  Yeah, such a proud moment.  He happily relived telling me all the details (consider his spank bank filled for the week).  I was terrified to ask him about anything else I may have said or done.  He said that was by far the craziest.  

The next story was even better.  His "ex" showed up at his house 9:30 am on Sunday looking for me.  Apparently she thought she'd bust into his house and find me in his bed.  Ahhh yeah, we aren't that stupid.  Plus we aren't a couple, why would either of us spend the night if we didn't have to.  He snores and I need space.  After she calmed down they finally "had the talk" and are officially over.  This makes me happy, but I know he'll find some new drama to get into.  He always does.  And until I find someone new to get into, I'll keep being a part of his.

And so completes the cycle of me trying to date.  Find the guy who's unavailable yet perfect for me, befriend him, suddenly he makes the move, start a stupid tangled web of lies, cheating and fun, realize this isn't healthy, become unable to separate myself, eventually get hurt and walk away having learned little and my heart blackened just a little bit more.  Vow to find someone better, someone healthy for me, likely to start the whole cycle again.

I've been thinking how he's not really worked too hard to entertain me while I'm here.  I know it's not 100% his job, but still, when someone comes to my town I have options for days.  So far he half ass planned Saturday night, totally flaked on Sunday (part due to the ex, part due to hangover), Monday I begged him to come out, and now nothing.  I realized that my team is going out tonight, tomorrow I need to pack and likely get some sleep and Friday I'm driving home.  His options were limited and now I feel wasted as well.  My expectations were high, and I should have never let that happen.  Never rely on someone else for your own happiness.