Berserker

Watch TV with Dad, mom said

It will be fun, mom said

BORED!

Today was just plain craziness.  It took me 2.5 hours to get to my first house today.  Then 45 min to drive 15 miles.  Long Island is overrated, actually I think NYC is.  It's great to visit, but this whole working business is just wrong.  Wrong Wrong Wrong!  I still don't have anymore claims so it could be a very slow week.

Tonight I talked to my ex.  Turns out I'll be moving into his hotel on Friday and he's def more excited about it than me.  I think he's as lonely as I am, and desperate for a drinking partner.  The weird thing is that I was nothing but nice to him.  I've never given him any reason to hate me so he thinks we are perfectly fine.  I'm struggling with that whole bit, but I know I've moved on and can be a bigger person.  It's tough when he still purposefully doesn't talk about his fiance or that they just spent the weekend in the city.  She's post on FB all the time, so he has to know I know.  We plan on having lunch or dinner tomorrow so I'm curious to see if he says anything.

In other scary news I realized while talking to him how similar he is to Clint.  Big talkers, big drinkers, always good for a laugh, decent kissers.  But that's where the similarities end.  Clint is much nicer, he wants to be the asshole but just can't.  The ex, well he's got that down.  He can be out and out mean, for no reason.  I guess it's good I can see what is and isn't right for me.  

Tonight's other moment of clarity is how many times I've wanted to talk to Clint since I got out here.  I've reached for my phone at least a dozen times, but sadly he's in Cancun with his ex.  My dependence on him is out of control.  This week out here with some of my good work peeps is exactly what I need to get me back to who I was before I even knew him.  Back to my own kind of fun and relaxation!  This will mean large dinners and lots of beer.  Yay me!!!