Being broken

 My new habitat, the couch hurts!

My back started out better today and quickly went down hill.  I hate this and I'm gonna complain because I'm a big old baby.  I also feel like a crotchety old lady and would yell at people who were on my lawn, if I actually had my own lawn.  My back is actually hot where it hurts, like there is a fever in it.  Not cool!

I know it all started out as stress related and somewhat stupid lifting too much stuff, but now I'm wondering if it's a bit emotional related.  I'm wearing thin on being everyone's shoulder to cry on.  Let me summarize:

• if your husband is an ass tell him not me
• if your husband is neglectful tell him not me
• if you mom is a pain quit talking to her
• if your boss is a jackhole maybe you shouldn't be one right back
• if your co-workers are jackholes tell them, then work harder to make them look even worse
• don't ask me to make decisions about your career
• don't ask me how to spend your money (that answer is to always buy me a new Louis Vuitton)
• don't ask me to define your relationship

I am have my own issues to try and define.  I'm having a bit of a funk/mid life crisis.  I got my raise yesterday and it's awesome.  I mean super duper awesome!  But with that comes a lot of responsibility and expectations.  I'm somewhat prepared for it but at the same time it's a big commitment.  It could mean an extended time in Lincoln, but if it gets me promoted I'm for it.  

I looked at job postings today and 4 jobs in my old dept are open.  I debated about posting but know it's a step backwards.  I need to stay out of there and keep moving forward.  Progress is made by going forward.  I've been very doubty lately and I need to stop.  My instincts keep telling me I'm on the right path and I need to listen to them. 

I'm so used to using work as a way to escape all this "adult" stuff and I don't have that anymore.  I only have myself to answer to and right now I just keep stuttering.  I have no more answers and I don't know when I will.  Being an adult sucks, I'd like to ask for a refund on it.