Never buy me cleaning products

So my mother got me this ridiculously expensive mop for my birthday.  People, I HATE CLEANING!  I would never ever in a million years ask for this. EVER!!!  I want nail polish and all the sparkly things because I am a 12 yr old girl.

I asked my sister for some advice about how to tell my mom.  Who in no uncertain terms at my party told me it was very expensive and to tell her if I didn't want it.  This was in front of my man, my pseudo in-laws, a college friend and some of my sister's friends.  It was horribly inappropriate and hurt my feelings.

My sister response is below:  (I shall now be my sissy not myself)

"Here is exactly what happened. 

I created a Pinterest board of gift ideas for myself.  All I put on there was that mop as I was looking for norwex rags at the time and saw that mop come up on Pinterest.  I knew nothing about it and had no idea how much it cost.  The reality was I wanted a steam mop but thought this might be cool for during the week when I just need to go over the floor quickly.  You know, instead of buying swiffers all the time.  At NO TIME did I go to her and beg for this mop or say I really wanted it or ask for it. 

 So I mention in passing that I was going to order some stuff on Amazon and Darren says “don’t forget you need to order new cleaning rags.” She hears this and FREAKS OUT that I am going to order rags from Amazon (LIKE I ALWAYS DO)  and not from some yahoo at her work.  So she takes it upon herself to order me norwex rags (the wrong kind mind you, I use the cleaning and then the buffing and she got me the cleaning and then some bullshit window one that doesn’t work at all).  I didn’t ask for them.  I didn’t want them.  She got me the wrong ones and I hate them. 

 At the same time she decides to order these two mops.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. 

She tells me she got one for you and one for me and goes on and on and on and on about how much they cost.  It was actually laughable.  Like South Park or Family Guy.  She just would not stop talking about these mops.  Every time she saw her for weeks we had to hear about the mops. 

 
So it’s an okay mop.  Not great.  A pain in the ass to clean.  WAY too big to use in my bathrooms and annoying to use in my kitchen as I have to move my table out every time.  I can’t clean my floor on my hands and knees because she got me the wrong kind of rags.  I don’t feel like my kitchen floor has really been clean in weeks and it’s driving me crazy. 

 MORAL OF THE STORY – GIVE THE BITCH BACK HER STUPID MOP.  She must want it for herself for how much she talks about it!!! Leave it in all the packaging and that way she can return it in 6 months when she still hasn’t used it and decides to redecorate some stupid room in her house. 

Also, for the record.  I TOLD HER TO STICK TO THE LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 
Also, for the record, I understand that I did not stick to the list but my taste is flawless and I DARE you to deny it! "

Please note my sister and I are not broke.  We can afford to buy our own cleaning supplies.  My mother just takes these things upon herself and creates pure havoc!

I would like to state that my list is flawless.  I created a wishlist on Amazon and another on Pinterest.  I made sure all links were active and products in stock.  My mother was quite nice about me not wanting the mop and asked what I would like instead.  I referenced the lists and Pinterest AGAIN!  She told me she broke her Pinterest.  Bitch please, you got me the Pandora beads I asked for, now go buy me nail polish!!!!! 

(Again, please note I can afford all the nail polish I want, BUT in the spirit of the giving season I am trying not to buy any because it's a fabulous gift and makes me stupid happy)

So the moral of the story is never ever in any uncertain terms buy any woman of any age, race, color, creed, marital status, or otherwise cleaning products.  It's not a good gift!

Surprise . . .

I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason, put it out to the universe and it will be returned, karma all that.  A long long time ago I mentioned to my sister that no one in my family had ever attempted a surprise party.  Consider that game on for her and she pulled off a great party for me.  It was small and absolutely perfect!  If you've never played Cards Against Humanity you really should. The more the merrier for inappropriateness, shenanigans and belly laughs.

The world's most awesome cake table

Possibly the highlight of the night was my dad laying on my sister's oversized ottoman playing with Boo's iPad and trying to figure out how to play the Barney app.  He couldn't figure out how to get out of the app either.  Technology is not his forte!  Possibly a dozen High Life's doesn't help :)

Debbie Downer Alert:  I will say that I was very very disappointed in several of my friends.  Some couldn't make it due to prior commitments which I understand.  Another asked my sister to move the party!  I found that quite rude, but considering the source it kinda fit.  Another handful must have forgotten common courtesy's and how to use a phone.  Don't RSVP and then not send regrets when you can't make it.  I'm not Emily Post or Martha Stewart, but I do enjoy their directions on manners and social conduct.  Overall the party turned out great with those that did attend, but not without my sister having a small fit.  To be honest, I don't really blame her.  I'd be pissed if I'd gone through all that trouble, planned for a specific number of guests and then they don't show.  Rude, just rude!

Now it's time to get down to business.  I think this week will take forever because Friday is my 1 yr anniversary with my man!  I'm so excited to reach this milestone, I never ever thought I would get to this place.

Almost Halloween

It's been a while and I'm not going to apologize or go into a diatribe.  Life happens and more of it will be happening soon.  I'm going to slowly work myself back into this spot because it really does help me cope.  I'm not depressed or overly giddy or stressed out, I just like being able to come here and get a little zen and some clarity.

I've become super obsessed with nails since working in Lincoln and meeting a co-worker who's got some connections with other nail polish bloggers I love.  Above you'll see my "attempt" at nail art.  They are actually decals that I used over my normal gel polish.  It didn't last too long, but it was super cute while it did.  I plan on posting more of my manis so if you don't like it, too bad.  My blog my nails my choice!

It's a bit sad I'm looking forward to January already.  My man and I have a lot of plans for the next couple months.
*family celebration of my birthday this Saturday
*deer hunting with his family next weekend
*then my actual birthday weekend.  He's made reservations and everything!
*I officially start my new position 11/18 and cannot wait!!
*the following weekend Pack vs Vikes game at TCF Field
*Thanksgiving
*possible 2 weekends with no known plans
*cookie exchange with my Breezel
*Sissy's bday weekend
*Christmas
*NYE
*AND maybe a weekend by ourselves.  If we plan carefully and if there isn't a lot of snow and he ditches me to go up north snowmobiling.
*then he starts school, 3 classes next semester will SUCK

So maybe I need to revisit this and think into February :(

Always packing it up

From handbags to hootchie mama gynecologist glow lures

Captain, my super handsome man, my captain

• This weekend was pretty damn awesome
• Friday night band on the patio and the Gold Wing Convention night parade.  I have never in my life seen so many lights on so many trikes.  It was so fun to watch
• Saturday was a blur of work and driving.  A frustrating trip to Target and an amazing evening out on the water.  We even came in early enough to watch the last quarter of the game.  Pre-season or not, FOOTBALL!
• Sunday fun day was just that!  Caught a couple fish in the morning, I got a hash brown sandwich for breakfast, had a good nap and amazing sex, then a beautiful sunset and moonrise on the lake.  There's not a lot that could have topped yesterday in my book
• I'm looking forward getting home on Wednesday evening.  My man is coming over and it'll be a crap dinner and breaking bad on the couch.  Oh how I've missed my couch with vibration in it.
• I've been rained out this afternoon so I got a jump on packing, did my nails and now it's dinner and more housewives.
• 2 more sleeps until my super comfy bed and my man's arm around me!

Small town livin

Small town Saturday night car show

• So Wisconsin Rapids isn't so bad.  Found out today that CAT is coming in so I'll be home next Wednesday.  I've got mixed feelings about this, but being with my man will be nice.
• The top left pic is so awesome to me.  The truck on the left is the one I grew up riding in, the one on the right is my dream collector's truck.  1978 Ford Ranger, I'd prefer black to bright green
• We followed said trucks to an awesome car show which had a great cover band.  With chicken in our possession Sue-bee and I ate in the car and then kicked it small town style.  Such a great night for less than $20 combined.
• This week has been long and is just gonna get longer, BUT the light at the end of the tunnel is a weekend with my man out on the boat.  I've got a hotel room for us this time, no quickie sex before someone gets out of the shower!
• Tonight it's just some down time for me.  I got Taco John's for dinner, took a shower and am in bed just watching some Big Bang waiting for my man to call me.  The funny part is he got Taco John's too, without me even mentioning it to him.  That's some soulmate style shit right there!

Bombs

birth-4 yrs.  I cannot believe it!

• Shit just keeps on exploding in my life and it's really bumming me out
• My dream job is out there and I can't post because I accepted a future state job.  BOOM!
• My sister was given some info to look up on my mom about her crazy, and it fits.  BOOM!
• My man is going fishing this weekend and not coming home. BOOM!
• I will likely not be going home any time soon.  BOOM!
• I'm having a real pity party for myself so I'm going to spend the afternoon picking out cute mani's so I can treat myself after work.  New nails should make me feel better, and it's helping me not emotionally eat my disappointment.

Taking a break

Boo as "The Dude"

• I know it's been a month but I needed a break.
• I had a great family vacation even though Boo got sick and they had to leave early.
• This month I've caught 2 salmon, on 17 lbs the other 7.5lbs.  I actually really enjoy being out on the boat.  Especially when it's just me and my man
• I can even rough it and sleep on the boat and shower in the marina house.  Big progress!
• Work has been slow, but it's starting to ramp back up.  I'm in Lincoln this week acting as a manager.  I think it's going to be a great learning experience.
• My family is just as crazy as ever and it's a good thing I've been gone lately.  My mother is so desperate to be happy she will do anything my sister or I do.  I feel bad as my sis deals with it a lot more than I do.  This week's copycat is diet and exercise.
• My sister's been working at this for over a month and now that my mom sees how good it is for my sis, she needs to do it too.  
• I've been mulling over different diets and plans for over 2 weeks.  The BFF is a beach body coach and all about 21 day fix but I'm not sold on it.  I thought I could be but it's not realistic with work.  I found numerous articles touting WW as the best diet, easiest diet and having the longest lasting results.  This means I need to go back, but first I have to go buy a scale for traveling.  My last one broke.  I also need to lay this out for my man.  I know he'll be supportive but I don't know if I can get him to commit with me.  He's made some baby steps so that really makes me happy.
• I'm watching Extreme Weight Loss, I've never watched before and it has freaking Donald Driver on the episode.  I'd do anything he asked me to.  I will always bleed green and gold!
• Oh and I got to go to Lambeau for a shareholders meeting.  That place is just magic.  My man couldn't stop commenting on how happy I was inside the stadium.  I HAVE to get tickets to a game this year.