Never buy me cleaning products

So my mother got me this ridiculously expensive mop for my birthday.  People, I HATE CLEANING!  I would never ever in a million years ask for this. EVER!!!  I want nail polish and all the sparkly things because I am a 12 yr old girl.

I asked my sister for some advice about how to tell my mom.  Who in no uncertain terms at my party told me it was very expensive and to tell her if I didn't want it.  This was in front of my man, my pseudo in-laws, a college friend and some of my sister's friends.  It was horribly inappropriate and hurt my feelings.

My sister response is below:  (I shall now be my sissy not myself)

"Here is exactly what happened. 

I created a Pinterest board of gift ideas for myself.  All I put on there was that mop as I was looking for norwex rags at the time and saw that mop come up on Pinterest.  I knew nothing about it and had no idea how much it cost.  The reality was I wanted a steam mop but thought this might be cool for during the week when I just need to go over the floor quickly.  You know, instead of buying swiffers all the time.  At NO TIME did I go to her and beg for this mop or say I really wanted it or ask for it. 

 So I mention in passing that I was going to order some stuff on Amazon and Darren says “don’t forget you need to order new cleaning rags.” She hears this and FREAKS OUT that I am going to order rags from Amazon (LIKE I ALWAYS DO)  and not from some yahoo at her work.  So she takes it upon herself to order me norwex rags (the wrong kind mind you, I use the cleaning and then the buffing and she got me the cleaning and then some bullshit window one that doesn’t work at all).  I didn’t ask for them.  I didn’t want them.  She got me the wrong ones and I hate them. 

 At the same time she decides to order these two mops.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. 

She tells me she got one for you and one for me and goes on and on and on and on about how much they cost.  It was actually laughable.  Like South Park or Family Guy.  She just would not stop talking about these mops.  Every time she saw her for weeks we had to hear about the mops. 

 
So it’s an okay mop.  Not great.  A pain in the ass to clean.  WAY too big to use in my bathrooms and annoying to use in my kitchen as I have to move my table out every time.  I can’t clean my floor on my hands and knees because she got me the wrong kind of rags.  I don’t feel like my kitchen floor has really been clean in weeks and it’s driving me crazy. 

 MORAL OF THE STORY – GIVE THE BITCH BACK HER STUPID MOP.  She must want it for herself for how much she talks about it!!! Leave it in all the packaging and that way she can return it in 6 months when she still hasn’t used it and decides to redecorate some stupid room in her house. 

Also, for the record.  I TOLD HER TO STICK TO THE LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 
Also, for the record, I understand that I did not stick to the list but my taste is flawless and I DARE you to deny it! "

Please note my sister and I are not broke.  We can afford to buy our own cleaning supplies.  My mother just takes these things upon herself and creates pure havoc!

I would like to state that my list is flawless.  I created a wishlist on Amazon and another on Pinterest.  I made sure all links were active and products in stock.  My mother was quite nice about me not wanting the mop and asked what I would like instead.  I referenced the lists and Pinterest AGAIN!  She told me she broke her Pinterest.  Bitch please, you got me the Pandora beads I asked for, now go buy me nail polish!!!!! 

(Again, please note I can afford all the nail polish I want, BUT in the spirit of the giving season I am trying not to buy any because it's a fabulous gift and makes me stupid happy)

So the moral of the story is never ever in any uncertain terms buy any woman of any age, race, color, creed, marital status, or otherwise cleaning products.  It's not a good gift!